week 3 ( friday );

[reidentify]

[There's much to grieve over, but there's also people to talk to, and things to do. Above all, everyone needs to be prepared for the trial tomorrow. His feelings on anything else can wait. (That's what he tells himself, anyway.)

So, he's all over the place today. Right now, he's briskly walking away from the jungle area, as he speaks to Filli perched on his good shoulder.]

It will be all right, Filli.

[... It likely won't be whatsoever, but at least let someone here be free of worries.]

Comments

[jokered]

[apparently, akira's got other ideas on what can and can't wait.

but hey. at least today, akira approaches in a far more subdued manner. his fire hasn't faded, of course, but he's lacking something he had on wednesday—

and in it's place is an equally quiet remorse.]

...Lief. Do you have a minute?

[reidentify]

[He pauses and blinks.]

Of course. Do you need something?

[If he's at all bothered by their conversation on Wednesday, he doesn't show it. (And he's not, really, at least when it comes to Akira personally. Tears usually aren't involved, but he's used to being criticized by his friends, and Doom is far harsher.)]

[jokered]

[it's fine. akira does, if nothing else, feel a bit of relief that lief isn't hostile after their last conversation—akira honestly wouldn't have blamed him for that if he'd been angrier.

still, he shakes his head. it's not a "need," it's a "want," which is probably selfish at a time like this—but he wants to clear things up so that they can go into the trial with clearer heads and work together as they have in the past.]

I just had something I want to talk to you about, that's all.

[reidentify]

[He tilts his head a tad.]

What is it?

[... Though he can take a guess.]

[jokered]

...About the other night.

[he figures lief already knows that.]

I think there's some unfinished business there.

[well. akira definitely doesn't mince words even now, apparently.]

[reidentify]

[... Yeah, he was expecting that. He looks a little uncomfortable, but his voice remains calm.]

I apologize for losing my composure. I did not mean to put you on the spot like that.

[jokered]

[he shakes his head.]

I don't regret what I said, but I could have been more tactful. I told you the other day—this place has put me more on edge than I ever used to be.

[despite all he's been through. faced with this much death and injury changes a person, apparently.]

I didn't consider any of your circumstances. [because akira is perceptive enough to believe that the reason lief cried wasn't solely because of his scolding or what happened, but something deeper.]

[reidentify]

... Is that necessary? [He closes his eyes for a moment.] You were not wrong. My actions were inconsiderate.

[jokered]

And so were my words.

[a quiet pause, and:] I'm not going to ask about your situation.

[he's not here to pry.] But I could have considered it more, that's all. I'm not interested in making anyone feel... worse. Even if there was a point to be made.

[reidentify]

[Gently,]

You could not know.

[About what exactly, Lief isn't sure. That his ability to do what's best for people is a sore spot, seeing as how it's literally what he was born to do, and he's never felt adequate—and his failure may have cost him everything he loves back home?

Regardless, there's a reason he doesn't talk about his circumstances much: he's supposed to be a pillar of support, after all.]

It is fine, Akira. I have received criticism more blunt than that, in any case.

[jokered]

[they both have the same problem, which sure leads to them not actually getting to know each other the way they should.]

I know you're not holding it against me.

[he gets it!]

But being even partially the cause of that response is something I can't let go of that easily. It's... very conflicting with what I prefer to be for others.

[reidentify]

... You really are a kind person, Akira. Though you do not deserve to be on this island, we are lucky to have you here.

[jokered]

[he shakes his head.]

I don't think I've done anything all that special. Probably the opposite, really.

[reidentify]

[Lief's starting to wonder if this how everyone else felt whenever he dismissed a compliment.]

It is hard to see yourself as others see you, I think. But you provide much help in grounding people here.

[jokered]

[lief is probably correct.]

It's not the first time I've heard that in my life. [but with the phantom thieves, it's different.]

I just don't feel like I've done that well here at all.

[reidentify]

Perhaps we have all failed to do as much as we would like. [He knows he has.] It is difficult to be at our best in this place.

[jokered]

Yeah. It's hard to argue that when things keep doing...

[gestures sort of vaguely.]

All of this.

[reidentify]

... Still, it is our duty to overcome it. And just as crises can bring out the worst of people, I believe they can bring out the best as well.

[jokered]

I think so too.

[he just doesn't think it's brought out the best in him.]

We'll have to do better from here on out.

[reidentify]

Yes... though for what it is worth, I think you are remarkable, Akira. Truthfully, I could probably stand to be a bit more like you.

[jokered]

[ah...]

I think you might be overselling my capabilities a little, Lief.

[reidentify]

You are able to remain calm and rational far better than most here, and in spite of everything, you are able to retain good humour.

[And maybe it's genuine—Lief doesn't know—but it's better than what he can say about himself.]

Those are admirable qualities to have, especially in a leader. I do not know what kind of life you have had before this place, but I imagine it was difficult.

[jokered]

[he nods.]

It wasn't easy. And this isn't the first time I've taken the lead on something.

[leading... it's what he's always done best in this regard. having no agency here—] I'll keep doing what I can.

[but he's definitely not as confident or assured as he was being in control back home.]